My issue with Soccer (European Football)

I have a few issues with soccer which make it a secondary sport in the US.

1) Field is too big and there's very little scoring. Action yes because the players run around a lot, but very little scoring.

2) This yellow card and red card business is a little too "Boy Scout-like" for my taste. Getting kicked out of a game means missing the next game as well, doesn't happen like that in the other sports, depending upon the nature of the action.

3) No cheerleaders. Red-blooded American males like attractive and athletic females cheering on the team.

4) It seems like its target audience are effeminate males, who don't have a lot of traditional masculinity.